Dancing with St. Vitus

I feel like these updates are lacking the crescendo they used to have. Ever since I got my visa, things have quieted down quite a bit and I haven't been the busy bee I was when I arrived. Now I have a completely different agenda to more or less accomplish the same thing: achieve the correct paperwork and navigate the bureaucratic system for the right to legally work in the Czech Republic. I'm definitely on an expat plateau. Explateau? Whatever. 

The teaching job I've held since the beginning of this year has become wildly unpredictable. Usually when you imagine a teacher, you imagine someone who has the same hours as their students, maybe from 8 to 3ish in the afternoon. But language schools have to operate around life's other obligations, which are mainly work and family. There's no set schedule and sometimes students will schedule classes as they would with a therapist. Both receptionist and student have their pocketbooks out, flipping through dates to find a time in the future to conjugate verbs while still having fun. So this style of schedule leaves me to have no schedule of my own. Sometimes I work an hour in the morning and then six hours later I return to teach two courses in the evening. Other times I work from 2-8pm with no break. I don't have enough time to eat a meal or even a snack. I check my blood sugar in the middle of class because my schedule doesn't leave me time to sit down and actually pay attention to the inner workings (or non inner workings) of my dead pancreas. The limited and spontaneous availability I have has left me rescheduling appointments, not knowing if I can take gigs in other countries (it sounds drastic but it's like 60 miles away), and trying to create somewhat of a normal sleep schedule, which I've been chasing after for at least two decades. I don't have time for me and it's fucking exhausting.

Back in January, I interviewed for a manager position at AT&T. Yep, that AT&T. The telecommunications company has offices in both Brno and Bratislava, Slovakia, quite the surprise to someone who used to work at Comcast and thought positions with these places were limited to cubefarms in American metropolitan suburbs. The "interview" started with a group of roughly 30 bilingual people who were all interested in becoming a technical support specialist for the internet service AT&T offers to certain parts of the US. A few people had luggage with them as if they had come straight from the airport or train station, and I soon found out they actually had. A team lead told us to introduce ourselves, where we're from, and why we're interested in the job that requires English speakers B2 and above. Mostly everyone was Czech with a few people who actually flew in from France and Germany for the interview. It sounds ridiculous but when you think about it, flying anywhere in Europe doesn't take that long so they might as well attend an interview for a job in a country with a lower cost of living. Simply by the introductions, it was clear which candidates would be able to function in a job like tech support. When the pleasantries got all the way around to me, I realized I was the only native English speaker who had worked at a telecommunications giant. A lot of people stared at me. Why is this woman interviewing for a job she easily could have had in the United States?

To make sure we were actually capable of reading, writing, and speaking English, the team lead administered a test based on reading and listening. With twenty questions for each category, I found myself struggling with the most basic of knowledge. For instance, one of the questions involved listening to a woman describe a vacation to a beach, and we had to pick only one word to describe her experience. However, many options for the answer were synonyms. Casual, relaxed, breezy, low-key, and a few others were choices to choose from. But what exactly are they looking for? It wasn't the language that was throwing me off; it was the psychological mind games I needed to play in order to beat out non-native speakers for the same job. After everyone was finished, we were released for an hour and I did what any white girl with time to kill on her hands would do: go to Starbucks. 

The AT&T campus in Brno is located in a suburb known as Bohunice (BOH-hoo-nitz-uhh). There's a large sprawling mall and numerous medical facilities throughout the area of new commerce, and even though there's many plastic new shiny buildings out there, my favorite communism-looking building is right in the center of all of it. White with rails, simple windows, and a few panes of frosted broken glass, the medical center was a staple of what used to be sterile brutalism before 1989. I took some pictures and ordered a decaf latte in very poor Czech and waited for my pre-determined future at a new job with an actual schedule. 

When I returned from my hour alone, almost half of the candidates weren't to be found. Our team lead explained that those who hadn't passed the language test were dismissed from the rest of the interview. A few people looked at me as if I had something to do with their demise, but really I think they weren't surprised I passed, like a "good thing she survived" sort of a look. As a group, we were led into a lobby and then told to wait for an individual one-on-one interview with a manager. The woman I met had originally expatriated from the Philippines and married her Czech husband here in Brno. She looked at the experience I had listed from my CV and explained I was hired before I was even walked in that day. I spoke with her about submitting for the management position and she explained that once I complete the basic training and because of my native language, I can be transferred into the position. I also found out that being a native speaker was getting me about 15% more pay than the rest of the candidates who either had no technical support experience or mediocre English skills. 

What I'm most excited about is I'll be working at night for open business hours in the US. My shift will be from 11-8am so I can communicate with AT&T's customer base no matter which timezone they're in. Supposedly I'm also making more salary because the job is solely based at night. Night is when I'm most active. I'm writing this post at night, I have my best stupid ideas at night, and I try to at least learn something every night before bed. I can now offer my best potential on a Monday through Friday job. I never honestly thought I'd say "I want normal hours and zero unpredictability" but there I was interviewing for exactly that. The pay will be stable and the work will be familiar. 

In the coming weeks, I'll be filing for an employee card, which operates as its own visa. Right now, my trade license and my long stay visa both rely on each other for me to stay in the country and earn a living. But with AT&T, I'll be cleared by the Czech government to have an actual employer. The employee card needs to be renewed every two years, and I won't have to verify my funds with the government every year as they how much and when AT&T is paying me. They'll also provide my health insurance so it'll be included through my work and I'll no longer be on the socialized state system. Honestly the job can't start soon enough. Right now I'm in limbo between filing documents and waiting for my start date in May with no forward nor backwards progress and so we wait here on the plateau. 

The cool part about starting my job next month was that my mom and I both had the availability for her to come visit me for ten days. She's retiring in about ten months and she's looking forward to having the freedom to travel and spend time with family, meaning she has some vacation to burn through by the end of the year.

I was incredibly giddy the entire day. This was the first time anyone from the States had seen me in my new environment and I made sure to have things in a very presentable HGTV fashion. I literally cleaned my floors on my hands and knees, I dusted, vacuumed little nooks previously overlooked, and made myself into a real person who looks like they have the gumption and dedication to complete such a task, someone who really has their shit together. The last time I had been to the Prague airport was arriving on October 18th, almost six months ago now. It's is incredibly clean and almost looks like a convention center with giant cylindrical pillars and signs pointing to various amenities. They even had one of those ridiculously sized chess sets that you can play on the floor. And their bathroom was free. 

While I was on the train to Prague to pick her up, she was transferring in Frankfurt. Frankfurt, we both agreed, is the most absurd of European airports. Half-mall and half-travel checkpoint, it's an incredibly expansive place, leaving no room for tight connections. When I came over I also transferred in Frankfurt with a 90 minute connection and it was real tight, but my mom had some extra time to peruse duty-free whathaveyous and the vast plains of moving walkways. 

I toodled around in Arrivals with other people waiting for their respective passengers. The Prague Airport is divided into two terminals, flights from within the Schengen area and international flights from outside the Schengen. Since Frankfurt is Schengen, the hour long flight arrived on time. I watched the status on the arrival board of her plane, "Landed," Unloading," "Baggage." Spurts of passengers came out from behind the secure and opaque screen of customs a little at a time. Every little group I got excited and positioned myself unobstructed to be sure she could see me. At last she appeared with a tote and luggage. She looked so small next to everything she had packed for ten days of sightseeing in the Czech Republic. She looked tired, amazed. Everyone in my family is an experienced traveler but my mom had yet to see the former Czechoslovakia, and I felt settled in enough at this point to be somewhat of a reliable tour guide during her time here. 

We hugged for a long time. She's roughly my same height so our embrace with no intention of releasing seemed more reciprocal. After getting a good look at one another after our different yet varied travels, we got the first of many lattes at the airport while we waited for the bus to return to the main train station. We had about six hours of travel ahead of us with a bus, train, and then a cab ride back to my place in Brno. Our first meal consisting of Burger King fueled us for the journey and we arrived back home to a very excited kitty. 

The four days my mom was here in Brno were spent Easter market shopping, closely akin to the Christmas markets but with a bit more paganism sprinkled in with the food, spiced wine, colorful eggs, decorated switches used to hit girls in return for eggs, and porcelain products unique to Moravia. A lot of our time was spent sleeping in and relaxing with no set schedule because we knew Prague was going to kill us. We were planning on doing some serious damage in regards to sightseeing while in the Bohemian capitol. I traveled through the Czech Republic in 2009 but was on a pretty strict budget so my sightseeing was limited to cheap beer and Pall Malls. But our stay in Brno was eventful. My mom met a few of my fellow teachers at the school and one of my closest friends, we went to a cat cafe because Patrick just wasn't enough, and took a cruise through Spilberk Castle, one of many located in CZ. 

Czech Easter eggs designed by Jiri Zemanek

Over the few days my mom was in Brno, I realized that she's getting older. And yes, I'm aware of this phenomenon known as aging, but she was different from the last I saw her when we were crying in the airport in Seattle. She's slowed down a bit, both with her memory and her speed. Sometimes she would have a tough time keeping up with me during her visit. I've always been self-conscious of my speed when I walk because I've now had two ex-boyfriends who were quite eager to comment on it. I'm hardly ever in a rush. I've also spent so much time alone in Brno that I'm never around anyone that often to feel self-conscious with. Spending time with my mom made me more hyper aware, not just of my actions, but hers, as well. 

And then I started feeling guilty. Occasionally this pang of guilt or regret strikes and I feel like I made the wrong choice by moving so far away. In this case, I felt bad because I'm not with my mom anymore. I can't help her as she's getting older. I'm not immediately available if she needs assistance, reminders, or pertinent information. Staying in touch with her has been easier than I assumed but I think my shock of seeing her after almost six months made me realize I might not be able to see her in a time of need. It's the same thing with my new niece, Emily. I haven't met her yet and she isn't cognizant of her auntie who lives across the pond. I'm losing the chance to see her grow up, and sometimes it mades me incredibly sad and alone. A lot of expats will experience this while abroad and start to rethink their decisions, that their choice to separate from family and friends both geographically and emotionally will negatively affect others. Prior to leaving, I told myself I'd return to the US only under a few different circumstances: a family member getting seriously ill or dying, a zombie apocalypse originating in Russia, or a court order. Seeing my mom in her now more limited capabilities made me wonder if I'd be moving back to the US sooner than I thought, or what it will be like to have aging parents so far away, especially as the only child in one circumstance. 

I noticed this for most of my mom's visit but it didn't slow us down. In Prague we went to the Prague Castle and St. Vitus Cathedral which has left me particularly awestruck over the last week. I'm not sure if it's the crazy gothic overtones or its age or the stained glass to which Mucha contributed, but to me it's this evil building that is tall, maniacal, ominous, and threatening. Not because of the religious curiosities tied to it, but the massive presence it gives to the Prague skyline. It's like in Independence Day when the alien ship slowly covers Washington DC except St. Vitus has graced Bohemia with its brooding presence for almost 1,000 years. 

My photos from St. Vitus

My mom also got to see me on stage while in Prague, and I'm really happy she got to see one of the best sets I've had since I've been here. I booked a spot on a weekly Tuesday showcase and found out at the last minute I was headlining. Vir Das, from Conan and fucking Netflix, was in town and asked for time but at the last minute had a scheduling conflict, so they asked me to fill in. Kind of cool, I'll probably use that as a credit from now on. The show takes place in a popular hostel and it's free for guests to attend, so the show often has a large audience whose common language is usually English. I met another comic from LA who was on the show and we discovered we had a lot of people in common between us, so it was fun to network so far from home. And my set went great. I couldn't have asked for a better slot or audience. The audience was engaged, paying attention, a little drunk but happy and focused. I'm so much more comfortable on stage than when I first arrived, nervous and anxious over material that worked so many times which might no longer have potential in a non-English speaking country. But I've adapted, and I think that's kind of what all this is about. 

My mom and I separated at the Prague train station where she took the bus to the airport and I a train back to Brno. I had to teach two classes after I arrived, one at a lighting company out in the suburbs and another at the school itself. The lighting company cancelled on me 40 minutes after I arrived due to some Chinese bigwig in town and I didn't have anyone show up for my second class. Of course, I get off the train and my world immediately becomes less predictable, less calculated. I have four days off for Easter as the Czechs observe Easter on Monday as well as Good Friday on, well, Friday. I've been nursing a sinus infection in the mean time and tomorrow I go into a 25 hour teaching week, and I'm sure I'll be dead when it's finished. Until then, I have some cheese to eat and a kitty to annoy.