Ahoj!

Or "hello," as I'll be greeting people as of October 17.

As more things are removed from my apartment, the echo of my voice and old sitcom reruns become louder. I still have a lot of knickknacks and tchotchkes compiled in the middle of my living room floor, things that used to have a surface but now gravity has attacked and they seem to all be leaning on each other for support on carpet I need to clean. Stuff too good for Goodwill but not worth the money or time to sell. I bought spackle for the holes in my wall and more packing tape. The two boxes I was going to ship turned into five boxes. It appears there are many things from which I can't separate from, anything from the Seattle Times day-after Super Bowl edition to the random coffee cups I randomly started to acquire while living in Olympia.

My mattress is on the floor. For a while I had this whole adult facade thing I was working on with the bed frame and all, but now I'm leaning back towards this transient lifestyle that doesn't include a car or paying rent via check. My to-do list isn't exactly growing as it is becoming an ever-changing quest of challenges to complete stateside before I bubble my cat and make my literal move.

This is what Patrick will be traveling in. It's so fucking cute, like a little spaceship backpack. 

I have thirteen days to be out of my apartment. I'll be moving back in with my parents but not because it's summer break or from becoming a newly sober person who can't hack it alone. In fourteen days I'll be without a car for the first time in twelve years, the Kia Soul I reference in a joke I wrote six years ago. 

I'm excited for this move because I'm being a selfish bitch and doing it for no one but me: no college boyfriend, no employer, etc. I've wanted to live abroad for years and I had the feeling if I didn't do it now, I was never going to. Then 45 got elected and it was as if the entire firing squad lit up at once and there was no turning back: I was going to become an expat because it was written in the fine print of my college transcript when I graduated from Evergreen. 

So here is my written log of my journey to Southern Moravia in the Czech Republic, or "Czechia" as it was renamed but no one is actually following the rules regarding the new nomenclature. I'll be living in Brno, a city roughly two hours southeast of Prague. From Brno I'll be close to Vienna, Bratislava, Budapest, and a slew of other cities easily navigable by train. The city's size has been described to me as "Minneapolis without Saint Paul but not as big as Seattle." Roughly 400,000 people call Brno home with about 20% of the population consisting of expats and students attending the many universities on "erasmus." I'll be living in a neighborhood close to the Technological Park, an area that appears to reflect the absurd growth in South Lake Union but with more companies than just Amazon. I'll have close access to major tram lines, small cafes, grocery stores, various pharmacies, the biggest little amazing park, and an expat bar suitably called The Immigrant for the diehard soccer, cricket, and American football fans. 

My new home! Brno, or "Brünn" as it's known in German, is also home to the munitions business with the same name.

My flat, or "byt," is two-stories, which I didn't realize prior to signing my lease. What we would call "the first floor" is called "the ground floor" across the pond, and the second story is actually the first story. I have a full size kitchen AND A MICROWAVE OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN LIVING WITHOUT A MICROWAVE FOR THE PAST YEAR AND IT FUCKING SUCKED AND NOW I CAN BE A REAL AMERICAN...LIVING IN A FORMER COMMUNIST COUNTRY. WITH A MICROWAVE. I'll have a balcony, washer and dryer, full cable and fast internet, new appliances, and full utilities for a fraction of what I'm paying for just rent here in Seattle. The cost of living is roughly 65% less than Seattle, which is one of my main motivations to move in the first place. Living in the Pacific Northwest has become unsustainable for someone working, living, and also managing an incurable disease. 

Obamacare has done wonders for me, but living abroad under a fairly secular system with access to public healthcare is a huge game changer. I have the same access to hospitals and care as Czech citizens and having to twist an arm every time I speak with an insurance company will be a thing of the past. Not having insurance abroad is not what it's like in America. If I ran out of insulin in the states or became uninsured, the cost of both insulins I need are roughly $1300 every two months. If I was traveling through the EU and I ran out of insulin, I see a doctor, get a prescription, and wait five minutes until it's filled and pay roughly $50. Not having insurance is actually somewhat affordable, fucking weird.

I'm in search of better quality of life, cost of living, and life experience. I'm not exactly sure how long I'll be gone for. Every time someone asks me how long I'll be gone for or why I'm leaving, the answer is never the same. Often times I just tell them I'll be back in three and a half years and hope they put it together. The next few weeks will consist of long goodbyes, bittersweet endings to comedy shows, emailing my European contacts regarding my visa, parting with clothes and shoes that fit but are never worn, plugging the holes in my walls, holding kitty, checking my lists two or three times, pounding up and down I-5 for shows in Olympia and USDA paperwork, bubble wrapping precious pictures, leaving room for error, such and such. 

I'm having a going away show at the Comedy Underground on Wednesday September 27. The line up is all people who aren't just great comics but they've been dear friends to me while I've been living in Seattle. Tickets are available here. Hope to see you there :)